Either/Or: A Gogyohka Sequence

for Søren Kierkegaard

buried
under piles of books about Him
I rant and rave
He stands by
and keeps throwing His words

to believe
or not to believe
that is the question
I ponder
sunrays drift in and out of the window

the cracks in the ground
upon which I stand
become bigger year by year
doubting Thomas
in a land of promise

my heart
believes in His words
but my mind won’t
a tug-of-war
for my soul

my life with Him
like riding the merry-go-round
it goes round and round
up and down
but gets me nowhere

alone
in the dark
I hang Him
on the cross within me
it's finished?

May/June 2010 issue of Sketchbook