breezy sunshine
in a field of poppies
one stray blossom
FYI: My haiku is allusive to the following:
across the road
from a field of sunflowers:
a sunflower
Basho
Bashō's haiku relies on spatial juxtaposition ("across the road"), making the lone sunflower unmistakably distinct from the field.
My haiku relies on selective perception. The "stray blossom" may be physically separated, but the haiku leaves that open. The emphasis is on the act of noticing one flower within abundance.
Furthermore, "stray" in L3 introduces a different emotional coloring. Bashō's solitary sunflower is simply there; it is not described as aberrant or misplaced. Stray adds a sense of deviation, which makes the haiku more dynamic. It invites metaphorical interpretation.
A reader might see the stray blossom as:
an individual within a crowd,
someone who does not conform,
an outsider,
a free spirit,
or simply the one who catches the observer's attention.
None of these meanings is stated. They arise naturally from the image itself.
Added:
red balloon drifting
over skyscrapers, a child's gaze
from the wheelchair
Added:
miles apart
loons calling each other ...
a sea between us
