years in exile ...
moonlight rippling
the Pacific,
this narrow path
to the (M)otherland
First Place, Tanka, 2024 San Francisco International Competition
Commentary: This tanka has every quality of tanka that I love. It is lyrical, has mystery, and is especially creative in its use of language. It stands out, of course, for the parenthetical (M).This unusual element draws attention to multiple meanings, and is subtle and powerful. What can be closer than the mother, and yet estrangement, by geography, emotion, or rules, is heartbreaking. And the long narrow way back, in the night, traveling by moonlight, is very moving and speaks to all the separations and current difficulties our hearts are dealing with in our current affairs... excerpted from the judge's comments
FYI: FYI: This tanka could be read as a sequel to the following tanka and tanka sequence:
alone again
on the Pacific shore ...
winter moonlight
forming a narrow path
to the land I left behind
In Taipei, I still long for Taipei
ten years past
and alone in the moonlight
I have changed
and my hometown has changed
but we haven't changed together
I try to change
this idea of my hometown
people pass me by
with their eyes speaking in a code
that is foreign to me
the vendor asks,
are you from mainland China?
the look in his eyes
speaks the language
of a border guard
this journey
back to my hometown
ends
with another one
on the road of no return
And I also won two honorable mentions of the tanka category:
a flock of geese
through the shelter window
a deaf veteran
touches again and again
the sound of home
Commentary: In this tanka, I love the mix of senses, and powerful elements. A "flock of geese" commands our attention even without the rush of sound that is inherent in it. And the lone veteran who sees, cannot hear but "feels" it. The action brings to heart the reasons for the deafness... and separation from the flock... excerpted from the judge's comments
Thanksgiving moon
sparks on the rippling water
of Lake Ontario ...
from his cupped, calloused hands
a migrant's taste of home
Commentary: This timely tanka brings out all our feelings of the questions of the heart of our times. Drinking the waters of home with gratitude and the work to reach this point of reunion are all held in the beautifully formed visually satisfying tanka for us to taste... excerpted from the the judge's comments
